Temptation!!!

Today I sit here recovering from a massive infection requiring a nasty fast surgical procedure. I am still sore but healing. But this post is not about that it is about temptation. Its about falling back to those habits that got me here over the last 20 years. My day started off ok yesterday. I felt a little under the weather when I woke up. Then my day went south. Terrible pain. 102 fever. Trip to the hospital. Once home I was sitting in my chair trying to decide on dinner. I was feeling sorry for myself. I had missed one of my protein shakes in the 4 hours in the hospital. When I feel sorry for myself in the past what did I do??? I ate!!! Sitting here I reasoned to myself that I needed carbs and a "real" meal to get me through this lastest fun. So what did I talk myself into? A Super Big Boy (800 Calories) and Onion Rings from "Big Boy".  I tossed it back and forth in my head. I texted with my wife. I talked to my kids. I was heading right back into those old ways. Food equals comfort. Food equals joy. Food equals happiness.

I was mired in my own bullshit once again!!

So what was the outcome? Did I cave and eat a meal that is more calories than a whole day on my new plan? No I did not!!! I had 7 ounces of nice fresh cod and baby yellow squash cooked quick in my 1 teaspoon of olive oil I get a day. It was absolutely fantastic.

So what am I learning about myself? This is not a diet. This is a lifestyle change. I found out last night that I am not fat because I love food. I am fat because I used food to make myself  happy...